This is why you should be alone.

One day, you are born.

Mom and Dad are the Gods of your first days on Earth.
Sisters and brothers come along,
Cousins and friends too.
You get older and boyfriends/girlfriends join the dance.
And eventually, they turn into a fiancé(e) and a husband/wife.
Next, your very own children add-up to the people of your life, and maybe a cat or a dog.

BUT, REALLY, WHY ARE SO MANY OF US SO SCARED OF BEING ALONE?

Why, of all people, are we scared of being with the most intimate being in the world — ourselves?

It’s that voice inside our head…

That tells you can’t be alone. It tells you that being alone sucks, that if you spend time alone you are a loser. It dictates you that:

SOCIAL INTERACTION DEFINES YOUR SOCIAL VALUE.

Or maybe, it is that pounding in your chest, that squeezing of your heart. A fear, really, to find yourself alone with your demons, your fears, your thoughts.

The why.

Why are we afraid of ourselves?

But, there is Joy in Solitude.

No need to be scared of being alone!

In a nutshell, I use alone time to grow happy.

Want yourself some of that? Here’s a step-by-step guide to stop being afraid of being alone.

STEP 1. KNOW THE “WHY”

Why are you afraid of being alone?

Write it all down.

Now, when doing this, I invite to wear the hat of a scientist observing a phenomenon. Detach yourself as much as possible from the situation you are observing.

STEP 2. DETACH.

It is all here, on this paper in front of you. The answers to that questions: “why do I hate being alone?”.

Read the list, and consciously detach from it.

How?
By telling yourself that these are thoughts, fears, emotions. That realizing that these thoughts are not real. They are projections of your ego and mind, because these two kids don’t like inactivity and downtime.

3. MEET YOURSELF.

Relationships are no magic. They exist if you work on them and feed them.

So, step 3, meet yourself.

You now have some idea of why loneliness makes you uncomfortable.

The way to go is to make baby steps, one step at a time.

Practice being alone. Here’s to me-time!

While doing this, be the observer. If the mind starts to panic, be a big brother/sister to the child within yourself. Without judgment, re-assure them.

Know that you are not these thoughts. Know that these thoughts come from a mind that hates loneliness and void. Know, finally, that these reactions, thoughts, and emotions, come from an ego that sees its death in loneliness and peacefulness.
I will be writing soon a post about ego and the mind — fun times! :)

LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE, IT WILL TAKE PRACTICE.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Start with spending 5 minutes alone. That’s already something!

The joys of solitude.

Don’t know where to start? Here’s a list of things I do during my “me-time”:

Sitting at a coffee shop by yourself is now TRENDY.

BUT, THERE IS TREMENDOUS VALUE AND JOY IN SPENDING TIME WITH ONESELF.

It is a cornerstone relationship in our life. Know yourself and you can take yourself to happiness. Ignore yourself and you will live in the illusion of happiness.

TO BEING ALONE AND HAPPY!

Namaste.

I live. I learn. I write about it. Entrepreneurship + Personal Development. www.instagram.com/oumwonders